"Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb."

"Alllllllrighty then!"

"I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal."

"I thought I had mono once for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored."

"I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is."

"A place where the beer flows like wine... where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano."

"That Escalated Quickly"

"I love lamp."

"You're killin' me, Smalls."

"If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer."

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."

"Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?"

"Did we just become best friends?!"

"It's not a man purse. It's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one." - The Hangover (2009)

"So you're telling me there's a chance"

"She doesn't even go here!"

"This one time, at band camp..."

"Really, Really Ridiculously Good-Looking"

"I'm in a glass case of emotion!"